Washington, D.C. After several exhausting days after taking office a pleased Donald Trump has reported nearly 4 billable hours of work.
“I told people I’d work hard, very hard,” explained Trump. “And I have! The first 2 hours were the guided tour of the White House. Ivanka said I could count that as ‘Corporate Training-Development.’ And if you assign 6 minutes to each tweet I’ve sent, that gets rounded up, you just round that up, to 1.5 hours. That’s how it’s done.”
Trump later elaborated that the additional half hour could be attributed to a combination of adjusting to his new phone, checking to see if he got additional retweets, and “letting Sean drone on and on about Dippin’ Dots.”
Though some estimate that Trump has already spent an alarming 65 hours as President, Trump dismissed the discrepancy as “pure garbage.”
“I’ve done an unbelievable job. Absolutely unbelievable,” Trump said in conclusion, which almost all reporters present immediately agreed with.