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Entire Executive, Legislative, and Judicial Branches Mad At Trump For Revealing Secret Article XII Powers

Entire Executive, Legislative, and Judicial Branches Mad At Trump For Revealing Secret Article XII Powers

Washington, D.C. After a contentious meeting on the hill, Trump has reportedly angered the highest levels of all branches of government by accidentally revealing their secret Article XII powers. “Oh come on. We’ve managed to keep Article XII hidden for over two hundred years and this clown blows it a…

NFL Busted For “Massive” Human Trafficking Ring

NFL Busted For “Massive” Human Trafficking Ring

New York, NY. The Department of Justice issued a press release in conjunction with early-morning raids at the National Football League headquarters in New York. The press statement expands on a four-year investigation into a human trafficking ring run by the NFL.   “Allegations of trafficking first came…

Top Law Firms Announce No Bonuses For 2015, “Work Reward Enough”

Top Law Firms Announce No Bonuses For 2015, “Work Reward Enough”

New York, NY. In a surprising turn of events, multiple top law firms have announced they will not be paying the year-end associate bonuses. Though only five firms have announced the formal “no bonus policy”, given the lemming-like nature of law firms, all other firms are expected to…

Above the Law Publishes Another Exposé of Law Firm You’ve Never Heard Of

Above the Law Publishes Another Exposé of Law Firm You’ve Never Heard Of

New York, NY. While the lead-in text claimed an Above the Law article would provide an “unbelievable look” at…

Local Woman Struggles to Feign Support for Friends’ Terrible Startup Ideas

Local Woman Struggles to Feign Support for Friends’ Terrible Startup Ideas

SAN FRANCISCO. After listening to a fourth startup idea in under an hour, Lucia Ramirez, confided to reporters…

Dog Getting “Pretty Tired” of Owner’s Shit

Dog Getting “Pretty Tired” of Owner’s Shit

BETHESDA, MD. Area dog, Tucker, is reportedly getting “pretty fucking fed up” with owner, Ben Carlson’s antics. “I…

April Fools’ Day Passes Entirely Unnoticed at Law Firm

April Fools’ Day Passes Entirely Unnoticed at Law Firm

New York, NY. When asked by Burden of Persuasion reporters, multiple attorneys at Wentworth, Rosenthal, and Ossip, a…

In Cruel “Opposite Day” Joke, The New York State Bar Exam Rescinds All Bar Results

In Cruel “Opposite Day” Joke, The New York State Bar Exam Rescinds All Bar Results

After releasing the New York State Bar Exam results early this morning at 1 am, New York state…

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